New Years Resolutions are such a cliche! And yet, as the year draws to a close I always feel a sense of potential and anticipation going into the new year.

So today I want to share with you my perspective on New Years Resolutions and give you a structure to create highly effective resolutions for yourself.

Why?

Let’s begin with: what’s the point? What are we trying to achieve here?

Well overall, I think the point of resolutions is to create a sense of PURPOSE. We have a finite amount of time and energy each day, each week, each month and each year. We get to the end of each chunk of time and look back, and we either feel a sense of satisfaction, pride and completeness, or we feel underwhelmed, annoyed or even regretful of how we used that time.

It’s so easy to keep your head down, work through a to-do list, walk your well-worn path and stay in your comfort zone, but there comes a time when you will deeply regret doing that. That’s a big danger for everyone, if you’re not pushing yourself to focus on what really matters.

So for me, the point here is to chart a course that will bring the most satisfaction, by focusing your time and energy on what matters most.

Use your time well. Use your energy efficiently and effectively. Prioritise. Take brave leaps. That’s what we’re doing here. Make sure that when you look back, you’re happy with what you see.

My approach

I give each year a theme, that’s my main approach to resolutions. I give each coming year a title, a manifesto, a statement of intent. The year I figure something out, the year I change something important and vital, the year I take steps in a direction that matters deeply to me.

And then I create specific, measurable resolutions around that theme. I will achieve X. I will experience Y. I will visit a certain place and do a certain thing there. By the end of the year, I will have done this specific thing.

The 5 questions

Depending on how much groundwork you’ve already done, the process I’m about to describe might take 30 minutes or it might take a few weeks, with specific time set aside for the exercise. Some answers will come easy. Some might need a lot of reflecting, or conversations with good friends, or journaling. Some steps might be emotionally triggering for you.

Basically, the process here is to sit down and write your answers to five questions…

Questions 1: What went well in 2022?

This might take time, but shouldn’t been to difficult. Simply write a list of your successes, your wins, your high points, your feel-good moments from 2022. Take your time, let yourself gather this information from wherever: your planners and diaries, asking your partner or friends or kids, go back through your photos on your phone… What do you feel proud of from 2022? What do you remember with warmth and joy? What difficult things did you accomplish? What are your happiest memories?

Question 2: What didn’t go well in 2022?

Try not to let this one spin you out or take you to dark places. Simply gather data. Again, write a list out, so it’s there before you in black and white. Go back through your year and write down everything that you regret, or which didn’t go great, or moments of frustration and failure. The idea here is not to flagellate yourself, but rather to look for patterns. Are there things that need attention? Do you need to make some difficult decisions, even if they feel beyond you right now? But these conclusions are for later, for now just try to write your list. Low points from the years, missed opportunities, ongoing sources of frustration, things you know you need to sort out. Anything like that.

Question 3: Where is my life headed?

And now the creativity begins! This question is not meant passively, it’s not a look at the direction that things seem to be going and then shrugging your shoulders and just letting it carry on.

Imagine you are in a rushing river, being swept downstream, and you can see rocks ahead. Taking this journey passively will be saying “yes I can see that there are rocks ahead but that’s just where the river is taking me”.

An active approach is: where do I want to be and which direction should I swim to get the best possible outcome for myself?

So the question “where is my life headed” is where you make the decisions. Tell yourself, and the world, where your life is going. Decide. You are the author of your life, the captain of your ship. Where are you taking your life?

This question usually takes the longest to answer, unless you’ve already spent a long time thinking about it. Your answer might be complex and sophisticated: you might know what you want out of life, on all sorts of levels, and you can envision your future quite clearly. You know that you will end up with a certain kind of life, that feels a certain way, with certain things in it, in a certain place, doing certain work and having a certain impact in the world.

But it’s ok to have a more general answer. The important thing is to claim your right to choose where your life is going. For example…

Where is my life headed? It’s headed towards greater wealth and prosperity

or

It’s headed towards adventure and discovery!

or

It’s headed towards more control and autonomy

or

It’s headed towards self-acceptance and loving myself

These are all valid answers.

Question 4: What is the theme for 2023?

Your next step is to decide, based on your answers to questions 1, 2 and 3, what your theme for next year will be.

Is there a shape emerging from your answer so far? Is there an obvious or sensible next step for you? What theme seems to be coming together, based on your successes, your low points the things you want for the future? What should you be focused on? What risks do you need to take?

Can you assemble all this into a theme?

Themes might be…

The year of saying yes
The year of creativity
The year of slowing down
The year of being more real with myself
The year I decide on my future career
The year I work out if I want to be a parent

Question 5: What are my specific goals for 2023?

And finally we get to resolutions. Based on your theme, what are your specific, measurable goals? The point here is that you will be able to say, conclusively, whether you achieved it or not. “Be more confident” is not a measurable goal. That might be your theme. Specific goals are things like:

I will complete that exam
I will learn to surf
I will earn X by the end of this year
I will know the answer to this big question in my life
I will ride a hot air balloon in Turkey

Keep your list short, certainly not more than 10 things. They need to emotionally resonate with you, they need to fit your theme and they need to be taking you in the right direction, the direction you have decided for yourself.

And that’s it! Follow those 5 steps and I hope you’ll create some really great resolutions for yourself. Do what you need to do to keep your resolutions conscious and keep yourself accountable. Maybe put your list of resolutions somewhere really obvious at home. Maybe tell somebody and get them to check in with you to keep you on target. Maybe put reminders in your calendar 3 or 4 times in 2023, to check back with your list of goals for the year.

Let me know what you come up with! I wish you a fantastic, prosperous, scary, deeply rewarding New Year…

A better way to handle New Years Resolutions

Why?

My approach