The 3 most common questions about coaching

So you’re thinking about investing in your own development.  Maybe you’ve been referred to me, or maybe you’ve looked through my website or read my book, and you’re seriously tempted.

At this point you might have some practical questions.  I hear from prospective coaching clients all the time, and they often ask me similar things. So today I’ll answer:

1. How long will it take?

2. What happens in a coaching session?

3. Do I need to prepare?

If you have any other questions, you’re very welcome to drop me a message.

How long will it take?

The thing that almost everybody wants to know: how long is it going to take to solve your problem, to change your life, to feel better?  This will affect what scale of investment you’re going to make, both in terms of time and money.

I’ll try answer this by explaining the stages that most of my clients go through:

1. Identifying the issues

I’ve been doing this a long time.  Whatever you’re facing, I will usually form a pretty clear picture about it, and what strategy is going to work for you, within one or two sessions.  First sessions in particular tend to be very intense, fast-paced and we cover a lot of ground very quickly.

2. The actual work

We solve the problems in our lives with a certain mindset, using the information we have available.  I will give you a lot of reflections and insights to begin shifting your mindset, and I’ll teach you techniques, models and approaches that I know work.  Seeing me is like an injection of energy and enthusiasm, and often you’ll come away with exciting new thoughts or insights that can begin to change the decisions you make and the course of your life.  

It will be up to you to put this into action.  Sometimes you’ll be able to smash through things really quickly.  My words, and the things you’ve heard yourself say in our session, will begin changing your work, your relationships, your feelings about yourself and what’s possible for you...all sorts of things.  At other times, life will take you off course, or blocks and resistance will arise, and those will be the next thing we work on.

It’s things like that which determine how long you’re going to need to see me for.  I will be able to tell you early in our work which of these scenarios is likely to work for you:

1 to 6 sessions total

Some people are itching to take action, they just need a bit of a push, some motivation, and a few fears and barriers to be identified and solved.  Then, they’re off!  You only need to see me for a single session, or at most for a handful of sessions.

9 or 12 sessions

Some people aren’t sure where to start, or aren’t sure what they want, or are facing big internal barriers, fears or limiting beliefs.  This takes longer.  To be honest, it takes as long as it takes.  If you need to heal and fully understand why you’re not taking action, or if you want to take a big step in your life and there’s a lot of emotional resistance (for example, imposter syndrome, shame or deep doubts) then it’s going to take longer.  In general, I see clients like this making big changes in 9 to 12 sessions.

Courses like this tend to begin with the usual intense first session, then a few sessions of slowly identifying things and getting to know your inner landscape.  Then they tend to grow in effectiveness and energy right up until the end of the course.

Multiple courses of sessions

Occasionally my clients are facing truly massive challenges, either in their lives or in themselves.  These clients sometimes see me for long periods of time, and we make meaningful changes together all the time, it just takes a while to smash every barrier and tackle every toxic belief.  Slowly, relentlessly, and with as much care and introspection as you need, we chip away at things until you reach the place you want to be.

3. Ongoing coaching

Some people want growth and healing to be an ongoing part of their lives.  These people come to me with specific issues, but at some point they tell me that this feels amazing, and they’ve decided that being challenged, supported and understood like this is something they want for a long time.  Each step they take, each phase of growth they go through, will unveil new challenges and new opportunities, and they want me to be there with them, to guide and motivate them to meet ever situation with skill and grace.

These clients either book in for one course of sessions after another, or they sign up to my regular, ongoing coaching plan and set up a monthly standing order.

What happens in a coaching session?

A coaching session is a conversation with an inspiring, insightful person.  Your coach is an expert in human nature.  They care, they want you to succeed and they have the skills to assist you.

You will either sit in a comfortable room with me, or we’ll meet over a video call - both are just as effective.  For about 50 minutes we’ll talk about the problems you’re facing.

Often I’ll suggest practical ways to deal with practical problems, but my focus is on you, on helping you grow into someone who can solve these kinds of problems.  I will listen to you, answer any questions you have, and give you reflections on what I hear behind your words.  I’ll explain models and theories and approaches that will give you tools to solve problems and think in new ways.  I’ll guide you through issues and challenges, but you’ll come up with the actual answers.

It’s an exciting, challenging process.  I will do my best to identify and call out limiting beliefs and inner barriers that you carry, and this can be a bit uncomfortable at first, but it gets more exciting the more you experience it.

Between sessions, I will often set “homework” that will keep you moving in the right direction, or I’ll recommend books that’ll help you explore things we’re working on.

An important thing to understand is that, as a coaching client, you’re in charge.  I’m a resource for you to use, a helpful and supportive partner in your own personal or professional development.  If you want to use a session for a particular topic, just name it.  If you’ve got exciting new ideas to talk about, let’s talk about them!  If you ever feel that we’re not going in the direction you want, challenge me and we’ll shift gear.

You will leave coaching sessions with new ideas and a clear set of goals to accomplish.  I often find that my clients turn up to the next session, having done the work or read the book, and they’ve moved forwards a long way.

Do I need to prepare?

I cover this in my article, 5 ways to get a lot more out of coaching.

It’s a good idea not to rush to a session.  You want to arrive with your mind already focused on the purpose of the session.  It’s your time and your money - if it takes a quarter of the session for you to arrive properly and feel focused, it’s a quarter of your money wasted.  So I advise people to plan their arrive well in advance, walk the last few hundred metres slowly, and reflect back on what you want to get out of the session.

Before your first session I will have sent you some online forms to complete, which will help you reflect on the current state of your life.  This helps a lot.

If you’ve written anything like a journal, or if you have a notepad that you write in during sessions, make sure you bring this.