5 ways to get a lot more out of coaching

Each time you meet with your coach, you have one precious hour to use their skills and support.  That time can fly past.  So unless you know how to get the most out your coach you’re bound to miss out on some of the ways they can help you.If you haven’t worked with a talking therapist before, it can be hard to know what to say and what to expect.  Just as a coach has to go through a lot of training, so every client can become an expert at using that short window of time with their coach effectively.

So if you’ve got a life coach, use these five lessons to make sure you’re getting the most out of your time with them...

1: Follow your thoughts and feelings

So you’re sat opposite your coach.  What are you supposed to say?

Follow the thoughts that come into your mind and the feelings that come up, and give voice to them.  

Has a situation at work or at home been on your mind a lot?  Do you want to do something about it?  Are you feeling angry, sad, joyful, frustrated…?  Tell me.  Often that can be a great beginning - I’ll help you track the pathway of those feelings and thoughts, and suddenly a lot of stuff will be available for us to work with.  Often it’s bringing these things to light that catalyses and accelerates the coaching process.

Equally, if strong thoughts or feelings come up half way through a session, let me know.  They can shed new light on something and often turn out to be the key to transforming a challenge or freeing you from a stuck place.

2: Prepare for each session

A classic mistake that some clients make is to go straight from work or a busy day, into a coaching session, without giving it any thought.  When that happens, we’ll still do good work together, but it can take the first quarter of the session to properly arrive and start focusing.

So in the days leading up to a session, devote some time to reflecting on how things are in your life and how you can best use your time with me.

And immediately before the session, take at least 10 minutes to “check-in” with yourself - what are you feeling, what’s going on for you, what do you want help or guidance with, what are you longing for right now?

Arrive in the coaching space ready to begin sharing and exploring straight away.  That might mean being calm and collected, ready to power on through, or it might mean being strongly aware of the feelings and thoughts that are important for you right now.  You don’t need to arrive in a zen-like state, but you’ll get much more out of the session if you know what’s really happening inside.  Take time to prepare and gain that awareness.

3: Trust your coach

Some people find this tricky to start with.  Normally when we meet people we take time to get to know them before we choose to trust them.  But, as much as you can, you need to choose to trust me from our first session.  Try your best to let your defences down and just fully trusting that I only want the best for you will really help us to get the most out of our time together.

I am totally on your side - I have no priorities except the things you want for yourself

I am not judging you when I ask questions - I’ll ask a lot of questions as your coach, to help me understand things and to help you reflect on your answers.  Often when people ask us questions they have their own agendas and hidden meanings.  As your coach, I don’t.  I am operating from unconditional respect and positive intention.

Let yourself be guided - We might go to places you didn’t expect when we work together.  Sometimes these places will be outside of your comfort zone.  But they’ll always be for good reasons, that will lead to substantial personal growth for you.  I’ve had the training and experience to guide you into these places and then guide you out again.

Be open to challenge and shifts in perspective - You’ve hired a coach because I can give you new perspectives on the things you’re facing.  So if I take the conversation in an unexpected or uncomfortable direction, trust that it’s for a good reason.

4: Keep your own notes

I really encourage you to bring pen and paper to every session and write down as much as you want.  I might even give you specific, useful things to write down so you can refer to them later.

If you want, you can even record the session on your mobile phone or dictaphone.

The session is for you, and if you forget important stuff it could be the difference between taking those bold steps, and missing the chance.

5: Challenge your coach

While you need to let yourself trust the process as much as possible, coaching isn’t a passive process.  I’ll give you ideas, encouragement, techniques and clarity - but the work is all down to you.

Demand clarity - If I say something that wasn’t clear or didn’t make sense to you, ask me to explain it in another way.  I’m not a guru, my guidance should be clear and immediately practical, not obscure or confusing.

Get what you need - If you feel something important is lacking from our coaching sessions, let me know.  We’ll work out a way to build it in.

Don’t avoid the hard stuff - If you’ve got something you want to talk about and work on, bring it to the session.  I can handle it - that’s my job.  No topic is out of bounds.

If you follow these 5 steps you'll get a lot more out of the life coaching experience. It'll catapult each session from being helpful, to being inspiring... ...from being informative, to giving you a powerful, helpful shift in your whole outlook on your life... ...from being supportive, to helping you explode into life life in a way you never knew was possible.